Random: A parenting style…

5 03 2011

So I’ve started to look into homeschooling for my kids, once they reach that age. Kurt is almost preschool age.. so it got me thinking. Then one day at the library I saw a poster for a homeschooling group here in town! And yesterday I went to their monthly meeting to see if I wanted to join. I really like them! I only met a handful but they told me their is roughly 50-60 more families in the are who are homeschooling. So great! I was a tad disappointed to find that most of them use curriculum based learning through actual schools, but then they explained that they schools give them money towards curriculum and music lessons, material etc. Which was very intriguing. And once I perused the list of school available here in BC I was pleasantly surprised to find some very “open” learning style places.

So this trail of thought has landed me on many websites about Waldorf, Unschooling, Montessori and the like. All very interesting. I really had no concept of “alternative parenting” until I stumbled across the peaceful and non-coercive stuff. But to find actual methods really made my mind swirl. I really wish I would have found this information BEFORE having kids. To have a plan for every stage a REASON for treating my kids with respect.Which sounds absurd but I am struggling with connecting with Kurt he is two and a half years old and I came into parenting with what I call “recommended guidlines” way of parenting. Time outs, saying no, slapping hands ( and bums and sides of heads) and pulling ears. Rewards and punishments, convincing, overpowering. These are all parts of my parenting style that I am trying to get rid of, change around etc… It’s hard. It’s ingrained! I don’t have many memories of being punished as a child by my mother. I do remember getting spankings from my dads. Vividly.. arg. It’s so hard. I’m feeling so guilty that Kurt is almost 3 and I’ve ruined these important years with struggling to find myself as well as parent with some leftover from how I was parented.

I’m feeling overwhelmed. I’m feeling like the more I learn the less I know.. which I’m pretty sure is a song or quote from somewhere.. but it’s exactly how I feel.

How do I overhaul my parenting whilst being waist deep in the mucky part of it?

Part of the things that are holding me back. The TV. The computer. The iPhone. The DS. ALL THE TOYS . They beep and light up and buzz and talk. or they are plastic. or they dont’ really do anything .. but they are the normal toys you get for kids. I’ve been struggling with the idea to get rid of them all. Well.. the ones that we really DONT NEED. the problem being most of them were a gift from family. namely my in-laws. Very touchy subject if I was to suddenly sell them all…..

I’m lost. I have to figure out how to be so I can model it for my children. I need to find and practice patience so my kids will be. I need to figure out how to interact day to day…



Random: A crafty idea…

2 03 2011

We’ve started to take crafts seriously in our house. I think maybe it has to do with me wanting to be more creative and in turn help my kids be more creative. I also think it has A LOT to do with the fact that Kurt is interested in sitting and doing them. πŸ™‚ So we turned out linen cupboard into our craft closet so we have a place for anything and everything creative!

Painting is our favorite, its messy and instant!Β  Not like the silly bug craft we tried to do, the glue wouldn’t stick and I may or may not have turned into super control freak, dead set on finishing the project.

Keenin is 11 months… so he’ still little. But not so little that he doesn’t need to be involved! He tip toes and tries to reach his brother’s stuff on the table… so he sits in his high chair and watches us paint. But again.. he’s not so little that he doesn’t feel the need to be included.

I tried giving him a paint brush with some paint – he chewed it ( its non toxic right?!)

I tried giving him markers – he chewed them.

I tried giving him crayons – he chewed them.

So I breathed out and thought…. do I let him eat the non-toxic coloring utensils? I really preferred not to… And then brilliance struck me!

I handed him a paint brush and a cup of water as well as an orange piece of paper. He started coping his brother, dip, dip and then rubbing it on the paper… voila! It looked like he was painting, but then it would dry and he could do it again. His fascination with dipping didn’t stop, but the painting did. But I didn’t feel guilty for letting him dip, dip, chew.

So there you go a crafty idea for the little one that NEEDS to be involved but still chews everything. Water painting! πŸ™‚

Not gonna lie, it did end in tears when he desperately wanted to try the paints and mom wouldn’t let him chew on it after it had been dipped in paint.. but hey its a start!


Wordless Wednesday: My heart, my meaning, my boys….

2 03 2011

Tuesday: Rituals…

1 03 2011

I don’t have many daily rituals. I have many theoretical ones, ones I’d like to implement.. for better health both mentally and physically. But realistically my days are run by the boys ( they are the alarm clock) and their daily needs dictate the running of our days (food, naps). I also find myself stuck in the time sucks that are Facebook and interesting websites.

So my rituals are sporadic and far between. Like yoga at night, that was a beloved ritual that got bumped out by a small child who was going to sleep later and getting up very quickly after. Morning smoothies that got tedious after realizing unless I could wash all parts of my blender and juicer right away it turned into some amazing kind of organic cement. Even washing face before bed seems to get the better of me. Bedtime means NOW, even if it’s after 3 hours of watching TV with my husband. Which is a very important part of us being together.. for the most part, our only version of being together without kids. Yikes, right?

My new rituals are the things in my life that demand some sort of schedule, like cloth diapers and mama pads. They require a kind of system to keep it moving and flowing. Also my new/old venture into NFP (Natural Family Planning using my handy dandy iPhone!) requires a new ritual of taking my temperature before getting out of bed. And my new tea ritual. Drinking green tea with lemon and honey every morning. mmmmm….

Rituals. I like them. I want them to become a part of me, of my everyday. I stumbled across this link somewhere just a few minutes ago. It was so nice to read. To think about how I want to start everyday. I was a wee bit jealous of the women who get to lounge in their beds or roll out onto a yoga mat without any distractions, or even take a BATH every morning! OH the luxury of it all!

But then I guess that just means I need to eek out a little ME time every morning. Things that are truly uplifting, inspiring, that giggly kind of feeling when its summer time and the sun is shining on you and you have nothing you need to do in that moment. I want to create that every … well.. MOST days.Β  Set my intentions.

So from here forward I vow to find time for my rituals. To create the fun, creative, joy filled, yellow and white (I think in colours) morning rituals to start my day with πŸ™‚ and to find the quiet blue and green and purple rituals to end it πŸ™‚

On a random side note before I leave. I’ve always thought in colors. Days have colors, people, numbers, houses, songs… you name it I probably have a color associated with it in my mind. And I’ve reconnected with that part of me as of late. It’s like painting with my thoughts. πŸ™‚


Random: Feeling the wave….

25 02 2011

Happiness isn’t a destination, it’s theΒ  journey.

Every step of the journey IS the journey.

Happiness isn’t a fish you can catch….

I know the words of wisdom. But I find myself waiting for the moment when everything falls into place and I can sit back and think ” aaah, THIS is the life…..”

When the kids aren’t screaming, teething, sick,grumpy,neglected. When me and my husband aren’t having tit for tat arguments.. When we have all the ingredients for the stuff I want to bake. When its NOT Saturday when I realize I need something from the health food store. When I’m not having one of those days where my hormones and the full moon collide together into a frenzy of neediness, laziness and total lack of understanding for my decisions to get married and have kids…..

I try to BREATHE, remember the moment, count to ten, think of happy things, accept what is happening, stop doing things that suck my energy, just sit, be, etc etc…..

I struggle with it. S-t-r-u-g-g-l-e…. Some moments I catch it, the feeling, of things that could be implemented by myself to make my life easier, more enjoyable.. but for some reason I dont’ let it. I stop myself from doing the things I want to do. From being the person I want to be. Having the body I want to have. I self sabotage, I hear the words of wisdom in my mind and ignore it. I react, even when I’m telling myself to breathe.

I feel like I’m at war with a silent version of myself.


Wordless Wednesday: The Other Me……

23 02 2011

This is my team. My roller derby team. It’s my away from kids, bonding with other women, smiling, sweating, slamming, falling, my two nights out of the house a week!

I’m in the bottom picture, looking like I’m holding onto my knees.
It’s quite funny, I don’t think I’ve been in the paper since I was a little kid. But I’m glad my family and friends can see it. See this crazy sport that makes me so happy. That helped lift me out of a very deep sad place. They cheer me on and then they slam me into the ground! My coach makes me want to push myself, farther than I thought I could and then still demand more from myself. It makes me glad that I’m squishy and rounded. So that when I fall down it doesn’t hurt as much πŸ™‚

I thought I’d share a small piece of myself. Without kids. Just me!


Wordless Wednesday: Something to think about…

16 02 2011

I found this quote during my blog readings and it resonated with me. In my marriage and even just in day to day life.. there is a lot of.. you did this, I did that. I did dishes 4 times, you only did them 3 times. I ALWAYS put the kids to bed etc…. So this is to help remind me that EGO doesn’t have to have a place inΒ  LOVE or anywhere for that matter. I can choose not to listen to its stories. I can just be.

I have a long way to go before I’ll be good at it.. but this is a start.

So much for wordless…Β  πŸ˜›