Random: Quiet is an inside job….

16 02 2011

I read a lot. Blogs, books, articles, facebook pages…. you name it I devour it! And I like it when things stick to my mind…. and I roll them over like a candy in my mouth. Mama Om sticks with me a lot. Her last post had a line “Quiet is an inside job…” And every time my kids get loud, I hear it… Today at breakfast I seemed to have found my peaceful parenting hat and put it on, its been a while. I’ve struggled in between just giving in for the sake of avoiding confrontation or yelling like mad mumma that I used to be on a regular basis. But today I put on my PP hat and felt some sense of ownership of how I feel, mindfulness on what was happening in the room and in my mind. And I thought hard about quiet being a inside job. I realized when I get overwhelmed it’s because – I just need everyone to get off mom and BE QUIET!!!!!! But if its an inside job, then I have to realize.. in order to demand it from my kids they have to WANT TO, or be  INTIMIDATED or have FEAR OF PUNISHMENT. Then I think about how I would feel… if my husband intimidated me into being quiet… I’d feel small, powerless and very angry. Not something I want for my children.

Then comes anger. How do I let my children deal with anger? (I always use the plural, even though Keenin, 10 mos, really doesn’t cause a whole lot of trouble yet 😛 ) Both have them have started screaming, ridiculously loud when they want something… I think Keenin started it as a response to an older brother taking his toys. But its a technique that works! It causes such a response in me, immediate anger. And after watching my oldest Kurt have another tantrum I realized I can’t expect him to have any control over his emotions… if  I don’t even have that.

So that is a place to start….. to keep putting my peaceful parenting hat on and taking a step back instead of being waist deep in the reactions of every moment.





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