Saturday: A New Year…

1 01 2011

I’m not overly big on holidays, I was as a child… but now I find myself searching for the meaning in them, how I want to pass them onto my children without them becoming mindless consumers! Ah, but then I have to realize they will be what they will be and the best I can do is give them a magical, meaningful childhood… with holidays.

I’ve made a notebook/journal to record ideas we want to implement in our family. It’s fun and will be a sort of keepsakes in 10 or so years we can look back at laugh at ourselves 🙂

This holiday season was lacking the magic but still enjoyable. I’ve been exploring the new terrain in my mind that is mindfulness. I find myself narrating a lot, but it’s a start. I’ve noticed a huge difference in Kurt (2yrs) his tantrums have reduced dramatically and he’s easier to deal with. I’ve also been able to see VERY CLEARLY when I am forcing my agenda or will onto Kurt. It’s like a neon sign flashes.  I’m trying to help my husband be kinder, not as quick to anger. It’s a learning process for both of us.

But I feel kinder, softer, calmer. It’s very new and fresh. I keep thinking of the warmth and joy of being near my mom as a child. That ‘feeling’. I take comfort and refuge in knowing I am that for my children, so it’s OKAY that they are screaming or not co-operating, because I still get to scoop them up in my arms and make everything better.

I am excited for today, for this year. We’ve made some resolutions as a family. No more Wal-Mart. Increase in healthy eating, decrease in pizza and chinese food nights.

My resolutions aren’t as concrete. I always make them, every year. And every year feel the disappointment of not losing those 20-60lbs, not going to the gym everyday. Not baking cookies and muffins every morning.

My resolution.. or rather intention. Is to take each day, hour, minute, moment as it comes. And try to be present for each one. I guess I”ll see on December 31st where that gets me.

I hope everyone has an amazing start to the New Year.





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