Foodie Friday: Food for Thought…

17 12 2010

This post isn’t so much about food. As thoughts. There have been a lot of ideas bouncing around in my mind. Mindfulness, ego, anger, positive parenting, Scream Free Parenting. Thoughts to think about.  To think of my emotions, anger, ego as things to step back from. Instead of feeling and acting on them. I’ve been doing better. Writing notes on my calendar on what I want to accomplish. Like “Today I am going to respect myself and my family by cleaning the house’. and ‘ Today I am going to try holding onto my own remote and not trying to grab for others’.  The last one has to do with your remote being your own emotions and actions. That if you try to tell someone else what to do, or how to feel, you have to put down your own remote to grab there’s, leaving your own up for grabs. So then they can ‘push your buttons’.  And holding your own remote relates to when you are angry and losing it. You are basically handing your remote to your children and saying ‘you are in control, you have to figure out how to control me’. These are from ‘Scream Free Parenting’. They stick in my mind very well. Giving me a tangible tool to remind myself of.  So I’m getting a good idea of how to control my reactive anger to my children.

Ego. Ego is getting easier to identify. I’m getting better at not letting my mind tell me stories about what is happening. Like my husbands tone sounded snappy, therefore he must be thinking such and such. I’m catching myself and reminding : No he’s not, that is your ego. So I’ve been able to let moment go. Just let them be what they be. I don’t have to listen to my own stories and react. It’s kind of fun. Like I found some inside track that most people don’t know about. I don’t have to be a victim to myself. Now to just find the thought process that is willpower…..

The more I look at anger, the more I see it in my son’s movies. Normal Disney movies I watched when I was a kid. They have a lot of back and forth. You made me angry so I must react and make you suffer . It bothers me. But I guess I can learn and then teach my kids how to see that as well.

I downloaded Anger by Thich Naht Han in audiobook form. It is very easy to listen and apply to your own thoughts. I’m enjoying it. I’ve started to take deliberate ME time.  And it may not look like me time, but in my mind I am stepping away. I don’t feel guilty for doing it and if you try to bother me I will quickly tend to you so I can return to me. It’s really only a change in my mind. But it’s a stepping stone. I’ve been taking literal me time at night after the kids go to bed. I stay upstairs and do some sun salutations, corpse pose and then sit on my giant pillow I made (insert pride here) and write in my journal. No guilt. I love it.

Kurt(2yrs) must be noticing the small changes because he has been hugging me more. Just spontaneously coming for cuddles and nuzzles. After a time out he comes for a hug. I think he likes the changes I’ve made to time outs. They aren’t staying in his room until Mum decides he can come out. They are short and sweet. Lets count to 10 together and then try again. Same with toys, toys that are used to hit or throw are put away for 10 minutes (instead of whole days) and then we get to try to play without hitting or throwing. Repeated time outs aren’t because he is being ‘bad’ but rather a reminder to not hit, throw, bite or stomp on his brother. Which most of the time outs are stemming from these last few days.

The food part of this post, is my struggle. I struggle to eat healthy. I can say there has probably been points in my life that I’ve gone 6 or more months without eating one single piece of fruit or vegetables. Not even a caesar salad. Most people would shudder and gasp I’m sure. But to be honest I’ve never liked them much and I don’t even crave them. So I’ve read many books on food, eating healthy, over eating etc etc… I know all the ‘logical’ reasons to eat healthy. I know the benefits, I want to model it for my children so that they don’t struggle as I have. But how? That is something… for another day

Bed time for babies!





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