Thinking Thursday: Scream Free Parenting

16 12 2010

If there ever was a book title written for me. This is it. ScreamFree Parenting By Hal Edward Runkel. I laughed out loud in the book store when I spied its title. I have been yelling at my kids so much and in increasing amounts… To the point that MY ears hurt. Not proud parenting moments, that is for sure.

I feel rather foolish after reading his book, that all I really needed was someone to tell me top GROW UP. It’s obvious isn’t it? But sometimes I guess it’s just what you need. To have someone else say it. So he said it and I heard it and for the last two days I’ve challenged my thinking patterns and felt a lot more in control than I’ve felt in a long time.

When the screaming and throwing and hitting starts. I remind myself IAM THE PARENT. It’s my job to see big picture and set the boundaries. Help them become the children and eventually adults that I want them to become. Happy. Seems simple enough. Just happy. Whatever they choose in their lives. I want them to be happy. I don’t care who they marry, what they do for work, if they go to university. I don’t have lofty dreams of them being doctors or lawyers or billionaires. It makes me laugh.

Why would I think those things? Try to imagine them? I don’t even  understand how you would try to imagine what your kid would be? I’m only 24 and my journey is still new and exciting. I’ve made decisions I never thought or predicted I’d make. I’ve learned so much. I want my kids to be happy. Sure my definition of happy might flesh out a bit as they grow and change. I mean.. I don’t really want them to be happy crack addicts.

So big picture for me, is the things I wish I had when I ‘grew up’. I wish I knew how to eat properly, just by habit, naturally. Because this is something I’m still day-to-day struggling with. I wish being active wasn’t such an effort.  I wish I knew more about mortgages, debt and just REAL WORLD stuff. If it wasn’t for google….. I’d be a lost puppy that is for sure! I wish I grew up cooking and baking. So that by now I’d be a pro.

So I guess I do plan on instilling some things into my children’s lives, just so that they have the knowledge. But I dont’ expect them to be fitness instructors or own a bakery. I just want to give them what I felt I missed out on.

So coming back down from my bird’s eye view of the future. Today, I’m going to concentrate on ME. Growing up ME. So I can model for my children the kind of people I eventually want to be. Or at least the people I wish I had been around to model.

PS. NO my childhood was not bad by any means. I had fantastic parents (three in fact!) who gave me many characteristics that I love and appreciate.





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: