Thinking Thursday: Mindfulness and Non-Coercive Parenting

9 12 2010

So I have admit, as of late, I’ve been reading alot of Mama-Om. As well as blogs she links to, and who they link to. The long, inspirational rabbit hole that is ‘mummy blogs’.  So I’ve had alot of new ideas to digest and see what applies to my life.  Non-Coercive Parenting, Mindfulness. And I’ve found that they are trails of thought where words do not follow. Each subject is unique to the each parent, each child.

So yesterday I spent all day attempting to be present. To be in the moment. It was tough. It’s tough to be in the moment of your 2 yr old throwing a chair (small, plastic) at your 8 mos old. At least for me. The anger surges before I can comprehend and I’m screaming, spanking and suddenly VERY in the moment, feeling horrible. This is NOT the mother I want to be. I still remember being spanked as a child sometimes feeling very,very betrayed and hurt. Non- Coercive parenting is lurking in my mind. I know what it is NOT. But I haven’t grasped what it IS.

So I tried to sit in my emotions, to see what reasoning and feelings lurked underneath my reactions. It’s more aware than I’ve been in a long time. Sure I’m always in my head. But not in the present. I’m in a past or future converstaion with my husband or mother in-law. Or I’m planning what to buy on payday. Or I”m re-living a favorite memory from New Zealand. The list goes on….

So to be present is very difficult. Trying to focus my eyes on what is happening now, because I find they are slightly glossed over, waiting for the moment to pass and the next onto whatever I’m planning or looking forward to. Which makes me very sad to say out loud.

I’ve always been like this. Thinking, thinking, thinking.

But I remember when I lived in New Zealand, when I had settled into my life. I was very alive, everything was vivid. I actually had the conversation with some of my friends – ” Wow, I dont feel like I’m dreaming anymore”.

I’m seeking that vividness again. That magical wonder at every new day. The appreciation at the smallest thing.

Eating a cookie (chocolatey and spicy). Listening to my son upstairs pushing a chair towards something he wants. Feeling cold. Feeling the need of accomplishment.




2 responses

17 12 2010
Stacy (mama-om)

I felt excited when I read this post… and just a bit teary. 🙂

It’s all already there. You are already there… It seems like the noticing has been helpful for you.

18 12 2010

I have my moments 🙂 it comes and goes. Like I said, I was looking for your blog. I just needed an idea of which way to go.. now I do!

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